A Puppet's love
by seineke-pyera
Summary: Sasori and Deidara, two criminals who secretly love each other. While travelling back from a mission they run into a festival in a small town. What is it about fireworks that makes one confess love? SasoDei, contains lemon. yaoi.
1. Traveling

Greetings one and all. This is your writer/authoress here giving you yet another Naruto story. This time it's…Y-A-O-I!!!

If you hate yaoi click that button with the arrow pointing left. It takes you back to the previous page.

I do not own Naruto, Sasori or Deidara. I wish I owned Hiroku but I don't either.

Chapter 1

Four days of traveling had made Sasori want to murder his partner. Deidara talked non-stop about absolutely anything. He really hated it when Deidara felt that his "art" was pathetic because it didn't explode. No, true art is something that lasts forever. Deidara was also human and therefore needed to eat, sleep, drink, and breathe. See, this is why Sasori made himself into a puppet…well, those were some of the reasons. His partner, when tired of walking or flying on his gigantic clay chocobo thing, insisted on riding on top of Hiroku's back. And that pissed Sasori off to no end. But beyond all of that what really made Sasori want to kill Deidara wasn't the talking, the not knowing of what fine art was, being human, or sending clay birds into the gap where Sasori fitted inside Hiroku when Deidara was sitting on the puppet. It was something that he hated yet could never bring himself to correct.

Sasori, you see, had feelings for his partner as…more than a partner. You could even go as far to say that Sasori loved Deidara.

Deidara didn't care that Sasori was non-human and treated him as if he were "normal" or at least had flesh and blood. He at knew artists from all periods and all styles and could debate with him intellectually on that subject. He found Hiroku interesting. But most of all, he was so damn hot. When Deidara turned to smile at him with those deep blue eyes, Sasori felt things a puppet shouldn't normally. As he spoke to him his voice enchanted Sasori. Yes, as much as we wanted to kill him, he wanted to make love to him as well. Deidara was true art: something, or someone that would last forever annoying, yet beautiful.

And his ever-growing love for Deidara was tested often, especially when they traveled on missions. Unlike his former pedophilic partner, Deidara talked to no end and mesmerized Sasori at the same time. There were times when Sasori hoped Deidara would be wounded in battle, not so that Deidara would stop being a pain for a few days, but so he could touch him. When Deidara was injured, it was Sasori who touched, wrapped, and mended his beautiful skin. Even though he was a puppet, he had so much chakra string running through him that he could feel Deidara's skin. And there were times that Sasori did not want to see his partner's attractive body damaged in battle, even though he would talk to him until he fell asleep.

"Sa-so-ri! SAAAASORIII!"

Sasori snapped out of his semi-perverted thoughts and shifted Hiroku in the direction of his hyperactive blond teammate. He grunted in response to his teammate, wondering if he was hungry, tired, bored, or some combination of the three.

"How much longer until we get to the village un? I'm hungry and a little weary from traveling un. And how come you won't talk to me danna? It makes missions so boring un!"

All three.

"We will arrive shortly Deidara," he answered, seemingly irate, "But perhaps we would get there faster if you were silent?" Why must he be so cruel to him?

"Un! Danna is mean! Aren't you all lonely cooped up in your puppet?" Deidara hummed for a moment considering, "I know danna, you need someone to talk with in there un!"

While Deidara meant that he was going to send another exploding bird down in the crevice, Sasori's twisted mind came to a more perverse conclusion. Before Sasori was required to answer, his partner found something else to occupy his mind. It was getting dark so Deidara would not be interested in talking as much as whining. Thankfully, the village they were going to stay at was finally in front of them. The village was not one ruled by ninjas so they didn't have to worry about an ANBU squad ambushing them or giving them problems. They were returning from a mission in Waterfall country and were eager to get back to base. Whenever they returned from a mission they were always careful to spend nights in different villages and not spend too much time in one, so as not to arouse suspicion.

When they arrived into the village, Sasori handed Deidara some money so he could buy himself some food somewhere while Sasori looked for an available inn. As they entered they noticed paper lanterns hanging everywhere and people setting up booths and…rides? It seemed that the village they had just entered was holding a festival the next day, and Sasori knew that Deidara was going to want to be a part of it. This also meant that most inns were probably going to be booked and the chances of them sleeping outside were as likely as Deidara being hungry. As he approached one of the inns, he noticed a sign bearing the phrase "No Vacancy." Looking around, it seemed that every inn had no vacancy. Time to look for a cave to sleep in.

Deidara returned to Sasori with a bag filled with sweets in one hand and an open box of Pocky in the other. In his mouth (on his face) was some half-eaten Pocky.

"Can we stay for the party danna un? Please-please-please-please-please-please…"

"Maybe if you'd settle do--"

"PLEASE!!!!!!!" This last one rang through the hollow cavity inside Hiroku and nearly made Sasori deaf.

"Fine, brat. But all of the inns are full so we're sleeping outside again."

Deidara moaned in annoyance but got over it when he saw a man carrying a large box that read "FIREWORKS! WARNING: EXPLOSIVE." His eyes widened into large blue shimmering oceans when he saw many more people carrying identical boxes. Sasori knew from experience that at least three of those boxes were going to end up in Deidara's possession. He led Deidara away from the boxes into another edge of town. After doing some quick searching, he found a cave up in the forest that would shelter them for the night. And possibly a few boxes of fireworks.

They set down their small amount of possessions and Sasori began to slowly creep out of Hiroku. Deidara began munching on various sugar-laced products and was most likely going to be up all night. Sasori moved Hiroku into a deep corner of the cave and set up a genjutsu illusion that would fool outsiders into thinking that the cave didn't exist. He continued to stare at the night sky for a few hours, as Deidara finished all of his sugary goodies.

Now Deidara may have been blond and a bit foolish at times, but he knew what Sasori was hiding. He could tell be the way he acted when he had to take care of his injuries. He noticed his danna observing him when he thought Deidara was asleep. Deidara enjoyed Sasori's presence and hoped that he could tell him so one day. For you see, Deidara felt the same way but was as clueless on how to say anything. He did like to make odd comments in which he knew his danna would take perverted (see earlier question.) He did it in hopes that one day, Sasori would slip out and say the "right" thing. And everything would be right in the world.

Deidara loved Sasori. Sasori loved Deidara. Why couldn't they express their feelings? Why must Sasori hide behind Hiroku and Deidara hide behind his blond behavior? This is what Deidara pondered as he observed his danna stare at the sky, wishing he would stare at him instead.

Maybe this festival thing would prove to be more useful that either S-ranked criminal could imagine.

End Chapter 1

Ok, first yaoi. Will there be a lemon? OF COURSE! Will it be longer than four chapters? NO WAY! Review. Review. I'll never know if I'm writing a good yaoi if I get no reviews.


	2. Fireworks

Um, wow. In less than 24 hrs of adding the first chapter I had a good deal of reviews. I'm flattered that people liked my story, so I'm going to continue with it. As usual, I do not own Naruto, Sasori, Deidara, or fireworks.

**This story is yaoi. If you hate yaoi then I don't know why you are reading it.**

I also realized I made a few grammar errors in chapter 1. I hope to stop making them.

Chapter 2

"Can we go look at this booth danna? Let's get some odango danna! Kisame-san and Itachi-san have it a lot un"

"For the love of whatever deity looks over me, make him shut up," prayed Sasori to no one in particular.

It was festival day at the random village that shall remain nameless. Deidara slept soundly through the night, muttering some random, incoherent babble. But it was so cute to hear his little voice mutter this.

Right now the two partners were wandering throughout the streets of the unknown village, with Hiroku left in shambles at the cave. Sasori was forced out of Hiroku due to an excess amount of clay aviary explosives deciding to play inside Hiroku. That happened at ten in the morning, and Sasori still hadn't fully repaired his beloved puppet. That was probably because he spent five hours chasing his beloved partner in anger. When he did catch up to Deidara, he flashed those adorable baby blue eyes and gave a soft "I'm sorry". His hair was harried and he was doing the lower lip thing. If it wasn't for the fact that Sasori was pissed about Hiroku's destruction, he would have either melted on the spot or tried to make out with him. Those eyes got him every damn time.

"Daaaaaanna! Why aren't you listening to me? Let's go on the rides un"

"Because you are annoying me. I also hate riding on festival rides."

"Roller coaster it is un!"

Did he even listen? Sasori explicitly stated that he hated festival rides. And now Deidara was clinging to his arm and dragging him to a ride. Ok, maybe the clinging part was ok, but the ride part was not. Sasori stiffed his arm closer to his body, so that Deidara was holding his arm, but at the same time it looked as if he was dragging him unwillingly. When they arrived at the ride Deidara had selected, Sasori could feel all of the gears inside of him shifting in anxiousness, as if they were his stomach. Deidara had chosen a thrill ride. And not just any thrill ride. It was a death-defying, fast, crazy, haunted thrill ride. How did a rural village like this afford such a ride?

"Danna? You looked scared un? Do you want me to sit next to you for this ride or can you handle going alone?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sasori seethed at his partner.

Deidara tilted his head confused, "Danna? You don't like rides un? Why didn't you say anything?"

Sasori wanted to strangle his partner, but instead suddenly found him self being fastened into a ride he did not wish to ride. Now he wondered if faking a seizure would get him out of the ride. Plus, Deidara would then have to carry him back, or at least bring him back somehow. Yes, just the two of them in the cave was a perfect. Before he could enact this plan the ride started. Now Sasori wasn't afraid of rides but he didn't like them. He didn't like the sudden feeling, or lack of since he not only lacked organs but the sudden motions and gears and wires….

"DEEEEI-DAA-RAAAA!!!"

"Wheeeeee! Isn't this fun danna un?"

Sasori felt himself clinging to Deidara in utmost fear. All right, he was terrified of rides. The sight of them made him uncomfortable, and now that he was on one? He hated it and dug his wooden nails into Deidara's neck. His face was buried in Deidara's long silky hair. And Deidara was holding against him, for fear that Sasori might faint from the shock. It was all perfect for Sasori…if only he wasn't focusing on screaming for dear life. After what felt like forever, the ride came to an end. Sasori scrambled out of the cart and knelt on the ground and nearly hugged it somehow.

"Laaaaaand! Deidara…Don't you ever take me on that type of ride again"

"Aw, did the cardboard ghosts and screechy sound effects scare you danna un?"

"No it was the fast motion and lack of control that made me uncomfortable." Sasori stood up and brushed off the dirt on his clothes. "I'm going to go sit down on a bench. You can ride all you want to your heart's content brat."

Deidara put his hands on his hips and pouted. He wanted to ride with his danna, not go alone. He sighed and began to look around for something else that he could coerce Sasori into riding. His short attention span immediately focused on a booth were one would win prizes by popping balloons with arrows. He clung onto Sasori's arm and pulled him to the booth. The lowly bum who ran the booth looked up at them.

"Hiya there kids. For only a couple of dollars you get five arrows. Give me twenty dollars and you get this huge thingy-ma-bobber of arrows. Whaddya say kids?" The bum not only needed to bathe but he was missing some teeth.

Sasori blinked. Was Deidara serious? They were two S-ranked criminals in an organization so infamous that people feared them. Hitting balloons with dartboard arrows would be way too easy. But also, it would be funny to see the shop keep freak out because of their skill. So, he placed a twenty-dollar bill on the counter and gave Deidara a wry smile.

"Here'ya arrows kids. Now if ya hit that star in the center ya gets a big prize."

Deidara and Sasori took the arrows out of the bucket they were in and split them evenly between each other. Before the shop keep could figure out what was going on, all of the arrows were launched in a tossing frenzy and almost every balloon was popped. The guy had an arrow in his left ear as well (thanks to Sasori).

"So, how many prizes do we get un?"

"Yes, surely we get something for all that we popped." Sasori was ready to laugh like crazy and saw that Deidara was doing all that he could not to double over laughing as well. The shop keep was trembling in fear and people were staring at them. Some were hesitating to approach them, but little children ran up to them declaring how cool they thought Sasori and Deidara were.

"Ah, look danna, we have friends un!"

The kids were very enthusiastic and wanted some of the prizes. Neither Sasori nor Deidara had a place to store the stuffed animals; so all thirty-five stuffed animals were given away. As the children received them, they hugged the two criminals.

"Hey mister," one child yanked on Sasori's arm, "Is that lady over there your wife"

Lady?

Oh, Deidara.

"I'm not a lady un! I'm a guy! I don't even sound like a girl un!"

The children stared at them, confused, but eventually they dispersed. Deidara dragged Sasori onto a few more rides, until he finally escaped his partner's grip and fled to the cave. As he was traveling he noticed two people hiding amongst the trees. Bright colorful flashes of light went off behind him and he heard one of the two people declare love to the another person. As the two stared at the fireworks they held each other closely.

What it is about fireworks that make people confess their love? 

He thought this quietly to himself as he returned to the cave. He sat at the mouth of it and looked the fireworks longingly himself. Within a few minutes he saw Deidara in front of him with a box of unknown stuff. All right, scratch that, Sasori knew very well that they were fireworks. He watched Deidara place them on the ground and grab a few more boxes he had pilfered earlier. As the fireworks the village had illuminated the sky Sasori saw more and more couples express their feelings in the distance. His feelings were locked inside the bowels of metal, wire and wood. He turned around move Hiroku and caught Deidara trying to sneak some fireworks in it.

"What the hell are you doing to Hiroku?"

"I was going to make him glow pretty colors."

Deidara began to edge back, but Sasori gripped his shoulders before he could move far. He shook Deidara rapidly and swore at him like crazy. He didn't notice that Deidara had already lit some of the fireworks near the mouth of the cave. He was going to soon though.

"I don't give two shits if you want to destroy your stuff but you will not, I repeat WILL NOT destroy my puppets." He snarled at Deidara who wasn't even looking at Sasori. Instead he was looking over near the base of the cave where some fireworks were about to go…

BOOM!

Fireworks began to shoot out from the cave but somehow the village was too dumb to realize it. Deidara looked longingly at the fireworks and then at Sasori. His eyes were wide and sparkly. Sasori stopped to think for a minute. He remembered when he was young people would say that kids picked on each other to express love. And Deidara did act like a kid sometimes. Kids did it for attention, and Deidara liked having attention.

What is it about fireworks… 

He held his partner against him. Sasori's left hand in Deidara's hair and his right arm around Deidara's waist.

…_that make people…_

"Danna?" Not confused. Not annoyed. But pleading. Deidara's voice was pleading. His heart was pleading.

…confess their love?

Deidara's fireworks were almost done going off, but Sasori was not done with him. Holding his partner tight, he drew his face closer and kissed him.

End Chapter 2

There is going to be another chapter, which will have a lemon somewhere. There will also be dialogue and more randomness. Heck there may be a fourth chapter where they actually return to base. I will note where the lemon begins and ends. Please, please, please, review. I see reviews and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks!


	3. Love!

_(I am so sorry I took forever to update)_

_I do not own: Naruto, Sasori, Deidara, or Hiroku_

**This fic is yaoi, meaning guy x guy. If you don't like that stuff, I don't understand how you've ignored the first two chapters and the summary. This chapter will contain a lemon. I will note where it begins and ends. It will start out with Fluff and then end with…you know**

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(Chapter 3)

Deidara was in pure ecstasy. He had managed to: steal some fireworks, take Sasori to the carnival while leaving Hiroku behind, force Sasori on a ride that would make him cling to Deidara in fear, make friends with little kids, and it all concluding with his beloved danna kissing him. Yes, Deidara was not as stupid as Sasori may have thought; he knew how to get his way. And he enjoyed the kiss to the point that he could still feel it even when they stopped.

Sasori was in a state beyond ecstasy. Now granted, most of his day had sucked. His favorite puppet was half-ruined (but repairable), he'd nearly fainted on the roller coaster (although it was nice to be able to snuggle into Deidara), small children had approached him, and his partner attempted to shove fireworks inside a previously damaged Hiroku. But as Sasori held Deidara against his wooden chest, having already kissed him, he was willing to let all of that slide.

Deidara had often found it annoying that his danna was slightly taller than him. However, when he felt his danna's arms circle around his waist, none of that mattered. He buried his face in Sasori's chest heard a rapid beating noise thump inside of Sasori. Deidara knew very well that his own heart was beating just as rapidly. The fireworks Deidara had set off were already done. Even though there were four more boxes that hadn't been touched, both of the men knew that they were going to remain that way.

Sasori closed his eyes as he thought about the moment that had just passed. When he reopened them, he realized that he had been slowly rocking Deidara in his arms. He moved his right arm up Deidara's back and rested his hand in his partner's fluffy ponytail. Deidara looked up at him.

"Danna?" he asked softly

"Yes, Deidara?"

"So, does this mean you like me, un?"

Sasori paused for a minute. He looked into Deidara's eyes, to the top of the cave, and then back again to Deidara. Sasori couldn't bring himself to verbally answer and instead chuckled as he nuzzled Deidara's head. Even though Sasori hadn't said anything Deidara understood. After a few minutes of cuddling, Sasori sat down on the ground and placed Deidara on his lap. They both stared at the night sky, enjoying each other's company. While Deidara snuggled in deeper, Sasori decided to molest his blond partner.

**( L-E-M-O-N it starts here peoples)**

He stuck his hand in Deidara's robes and began to unhook the clasps that held it together. Deidara leaned his head back and kissed Sasori's cheek and jawbone several times, until Sasori tilted his head so their lips would meet. They kissed for some time, and while doing so Deidara cold feel his newfound lover's tongue trying to penetrate into his mouth. He granted the tongue access, and wondered how someone who was barely human could touch him in such a way that left Deidara helpless. He wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck. As Sasori teased Deidara's mouth with his tongue, he felt two other tongues licking the back of his neck and the baseline between the neck and shoulders. Deidara was using the mouths on his hands to instill more pleasure in Sasori.

Within minutes the blond felt his Akatsuki cloak being removed from his body and his mesh shirt underneath being pulled up over his head. Sasori's hands lay flat on Deidara's chest and back. Nipping his partner's neck lightly, he allowed his hands to touch and feel every inch of flesh that had artfully arranged itself on Deidara. Art. Sasori felt that Deidara was art.

Even though he was nothing but wood with some skin grafted onto that wood and metal, Sasori's flesh felt warm and alive. To Deidara he was alive. How could anyone touch him in a way that left him craving for more, moaning, and so sexually aroused while not being real? He felt his danna's mouth at the base of his neck, sucking the flesh and leaving a mark. Deidara arched his neck more and wrapped his arm around his danna's head with the hand resting on the top of his messy red hair. His soft cries of pleasure enticed Sasori who by now had also removed his Akatsuki cloak and anything else underneath that could qualify has a shirt. The large thick coil within his stomach cavity churned as if it understood that something good was about to happen.

Sasori slipped his left hand down Deidara's pants while drawing his face closer for another kiss. The blond felt a surge of heat and hormones coursing through his body. His arms were still wrapped around Sasori, holding him tightly and closely. Lips touched each other, tongues played with saliva, and hands played with the body. Sasori reached his hand down further until he touched a part of Deidara that was sacred to him. A part, Sasori realized, that he did not quite have…as similarly.

"Deidara," he spoke these words softly, with a slight hint of fear or possibly regret.

Deidara looked at him confused. Was his danna changing his mind? Did he not love him that much? Was it because they both liked different types of art? Was it because Deidara was so much younger? Was it because…

"I'm not human Deidara. I don't know if I can do anything for you here," he stroked that one part of Deidara that was most certainly not flesh when it came to Sasori's side.

"I don't care -un"

Sasori spoke on as if he didn't quite hear Deidara's quick reply. He wasn't human; he had very little flesh; he was a puppet; this wasn't right. He didn't continue, as Deidara pushed his lips on Sasori's to silence him. Deidara grabbed Sasori's face and held it against his, not allowing either of the men to move, much less breathe. Before asphyxiation hit, Deidara let go of his danna. He was still holding onto Sasori's face.

"I don't care if you're human or not -un. You're meh danna. I love meh danna, un"

"Well, I love my little blond who, if he looked at himself in a mirror, he's understand that true art lasts forever. Like love"

Deidara raised his eyebrow, as really didn't have an efficient comeback at the time. Sasori went back to removing all of Deidara's clothing along with his. They were lucky that no one in the local village was anywhere remotely near the cave due to the plot device in effect. When Sasori removed all his clothes, Deidara found that Sasori was certainly not flesh there but rather a unique assembly of metal and wood that was shaped to what it was supposed to resemble. There were a few thin fleshy looking layers (to which they might have been) surrounding the whole thing. Now, Deidara was a fine masterpiece of flesh and blood, but he's the uke. Entangled in a snare of passionate kisses, hands playfully touched each other everywhere now.

Deidara found himself being pinned down and his wrists bound with charka strings. Sasori's wooden fingers found themselves poking and sliding within Deidara's entrance. His partner's cries of passion and some modest pain were enticing to Sasori. After one finger, then two, he touched him with a third. He could see Deidara writhing through the strings, and decided to stroke him with them. The sight of Deidara bound helpless turned him on. And Deidara also enjoyed it. With his left hand (the one that had the charka strings) he stuck a spare finger in Deidara's mouth. He swirled that lone digit around, stroking the inside of his cheeks and gathering the sweet saliva. Lacking sufficient lubrication, saliva was going to have to do. He took that gathered saliva and placed it on his wooden/metallic organ. The sight of Sasori doing this caused the release of more soothing moans from Deidara. Sasori removed his fingers and went inside Deidara.

Deidara, who had never really experienced anything remotely sexual before was aroused by this feeling inside of him. His moaning encouraged Sasori, who began to thrust inside of him. After some time, Sasori could tell that his partner had reached his climax (being as that he lacked fluids inside of him and could not tell otherwise) and retracted. There they lay, naked, panting, and entwined in each other's arms.

**Yeah, the lemon ends here**

As Deidara drifted off into a land of happiness and sleep and explosions, Sasori wondered how to break news of his newfound relationship to the group. He wasn't sure if it would be forbidden, that The Leader might kick them out if he found out. He wasn't sure if the other members were homophobic and would shun the two of them. Or maybe they wouldn't care at all. Perhaps they were so worked up in their own busy lives and mental problems (/cough/ Itachi /cough/). As long as it didn't interfere with the Akatsuki as a whole, then maybe the two criminals could carry on with their unorthodox relationship.

When dawn hit, Deidara helped Sasori to repair Hiroku. The mission was complete (whatever it was) and the two of them would arrive at the base by nightfall. They left the cave when Hiroku was repaired and set off for the base, with four boxes of fireworks and a little thing called love.

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End Chapter 3

**I am soooooo freaking sorry I took forever to update! I'm typing this as I should be studying for two quizzes. Ok, there will be one more chapter. Don't worry. And I will update it sooner. Ok, so leave a review. Cookies for all who did, I love ya people!**


	4. Return to Base

Hey everyone! I'm so thrilled I got reviews and cookies. I love you all! In a friendly, platonic way of course. So this is the last chapter. I hope you all enjoy and leave a review. Reviews help me to improve. PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING:

**This fic is Sasori x Deidara yaoi. Don't like, don't read.**

**Sequels are hard and don't live up to the original. I probably won't write one unless I get a lot of feedback demanding one.**

**I don't own Naruto ™. I just don't, ok?  
------------------------------**

(Chapter 4 Begins here)

It was nearing the evening in the Akatsuki base. Itachi was sitting on a leather recliner, stolen from a rich victim, and listening to music on his computer. Zetsu was consuming the body of yet another mail carrier right in the middle of the living room. Tobi sat to Zetsu's right side and babbled on and on about what a good boy Tobi was. Kakuzu sat on the floor with a table next to him and was calculating finances for the eighth time that hour. Hidan was in the kitchen enjoying a smores pop-tart. Leader-sama was also in the kitchen and was enjoying some actual smores. Kisame came downstairs appearing anxious and nervous. Deidara was traveling back with Sasori and sitting on Hiroku chatting non-stop. Sasori was sitting inside Hiroku and undressing Deidara using the power of his mind. And screwing him. Again. But this time it was kinky. All while using his imagination.

As Kisame descended down the stairs he paused to look at himself in a mirror that Itachi spent quite a bit of time looking at. Tobi, who had gotten bored watching Zetsu eat on the nice living room rug, decided to go bother Kisame and find out what was wrong with him. The orange-swirly masked apprentice skipped happily over to Kisame.

"Kisame-san? Why are you acting funny?"

"I have a date Tobi. Now go off before you find out what that is and decide to bother me again"

This statement aroused the interest of a few members. Itachi paused to look at him and raised his eyebrow in confusion. He seemed agitated and annoyed. Kakuzu muttered something about Kisame's date being strange for being interested in a shark-man. Leader-sama took it upon himself to inform Kisame the proper way to treat a date.

"I hope you intend on treating this person well Kisame. It would be nice if you people had half decent social lives"

"Sir?" Kisame was taken aback

"Now," the shadowy figure began, "Do you know what the rules are for dating?"

"uhmmm, you want me to say no, right sir?"

"Rule number one: be polite. Rule number two: no Samehada. Rule number three: of course you love kids."

While Kisame pulled out a small notebook and began writing this down, Sasori-in-Hiroku and Deidara showed up. The latter had jumped off of Hiroku at arriving into the base and enthusiastically ran up the stairs.

"Next rule: be the life of the party. Rule number blah: Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up. Rule um, whatever: Always remember your fake name. Another rule: Dance with the old people and the little kids. The ladies think that's sweet. Rule: Stay clear of the wedding planner. They may start to recognize you and wonder"

By now Kisame had stopped writing down and was staring at the leader very confused. Sasori was also confused but that was also because he had missed the earlier conversation. Kakuzu was scratching his head in confusion, Zetsu was laughing, and Tobi was still trying to figure out what a date was. Poor Tobi.

"Those are the rule for Wedding Crasher!" shouted Hidan from the kitchen.

"Eh, crashed wedding, date, what's the difference?" Leader-sama responded

"At weddings, you get laid more" Itachi crossly responded

After a few moments of some awkward silence, Sasori began to shuffle past Leader and Kisame. He handed some package to the Leader, who nodded in response. The mission had gone well. And Hidan was hungry.

"HEY, Shadowy person who pays us, I'm eating your marshmallows, ok?"

"You will address me as Leader-sama or sir like everyone else does Hidan."

Fortunately for Hidan, the Leader couldn't see his lone middle finger, waving in his general direction. Kisame started to walk to the door and Sasori sent Hiroku back into the summoning scroll. Before he could start up the stairs after Deidara, Tobi rushed straight into Sasori's face.

"Sasori-san! Will you come watch a movie with us?"

"No"

"But its--"

"No. Tobi I'm going to be very busy tonight."

"Do you have a date too?"

"In a sense, I do"

Kisame had just gotten to the door and wondered who in the right mind would date the puppet master. Itachi shifted in his seat, for the other member's trivial affairs were fun to destroy. Leader looked at Sasori with interest. Hidan stole Leader's marshmallows (and would be punished for it later) and then came into the kitchen doorway. Kakuzu, well, he didn't give a damn. Zetsu was looking in the general direction that everyone else was.

Tobi beamed with delight. Two people on these so-called dates? "What are you going to be doing Sasori-san?"

Sasori turned to face Tobi, and then slowly looked around to meet everyone's eyes. He thought for a moment on what to say. Suddenly he turned abruptly to Tobi.

"I'm going to have the hottest and most passionate sex with Deidara by fucking him so hard in the ass, that he will scream loud enough so that every village will hear him cry out my name in pleasure. Why do you wish to know?"

Awkward pause number two.

"Since when did you two--" Kisame sputtered

"What the hell?" quipped Kakuzu

"I guess I win the pot then," came Zetsu's nonchalant reply

"Lucky. Bastard" Itachi uttered slowly and in a state of shock.

Awkward pause number three.

"Do you mean Zetsu's lucky for winning a seven hundred dollar pot or Deidara's lucky because you want Sasori, or you're jealous that Sasori has Deidara and not you," interjected Hidan, leaning against the doorway.

Itachi stood up and looked at him coldly. His eyes suddenly turned red with black inside. Hidan, not wanting to deal with the Magnyeko again, retreated to the kitchen. Kisame bolted out the door. Kakuzu decided that the kitchen would be a nice place to hide. Zetsu flipped on the television and Tobi sat nearby, still trying to figure out what a date was. Leader did not feel threatened by Itachi and went upstairs to his office to process the mission report.

Sasori? Well, he went upstairs to where Deidara was. He found him in their bedroom and dragged him onto his (Sasori's) bed. Within seconds mouths interlocked, kissing in passionate embrace. Not long after that Sasori fulfilled his perverted fantasy that he had earlier in the chapter.

---------------------------  
(End Chapter 4)

**I wanted to finish this before the semester ended. And I did! Yesh! Ok, so please leave a review to let me know what you thought of it. I don't plan on writing a direct sequel but writing some more SasoDei sounds like it might be fun. Tell me what you think. **


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